A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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