What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops