This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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