A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops