A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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