Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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A jew enters a mall.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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