How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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