Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops