Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops