Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Emily Walker.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops