hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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women rights

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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