A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What's up? Your time.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops