How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How do you end a sentence

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Your face is hilarious.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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