A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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