Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Knock Knock Come in

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Fine, ladies first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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