What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom went to college

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops