Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops