8=> >->-o

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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rent a cops

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops