This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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