Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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