You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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