When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops