Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops