Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Jeff

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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