What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Your Mom

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops