What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops