A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops