What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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