You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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whats black and strange a paki

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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My peni s

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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