Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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