I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops