What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops