A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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I agree

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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