Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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