What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops