Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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