a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Everybody will die

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops