Vaginal secretions

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops