Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Women drivers...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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