A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Tim likes girls

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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69- by Adam Chebali

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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