Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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