Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

whats yellow? lots of things.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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