Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Nickelback

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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you give like i give lomain

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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