Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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