Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -139

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops