What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

Knock knock

i have cancer

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

minorities

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

Penis.

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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