What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Christians

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops