Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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95556

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Womens Basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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