I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Jersey Shore.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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