Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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the economy.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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White NBA players.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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