yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

What's old and wrinkly? old people

What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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