What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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