- Anti Joke

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

sky's sty

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.