Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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copy me and i will kill you

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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